nipple piercing gone bad

i wimped out on posting this at first, but then felt as if i were betraying Master by not doing so. He wants to know all of how i’m thinking and feeling, even when it isn’t pretty…

******

So it hasn’t been a great week. The nipple piercing infected my left breast. i certainly don’t feel very attractive or desirable. Not to mention the antibiotics make me nauseous and give me diarrhea. So it’s a bit of a low-energy period, not typical for me.

And it shows.

Last night, Master and i were laying in bed. i have to sleep w/a bra as the weight of the mass inside the breast becomes painful if not supported. i mentioned that it must be similar to the time when His balls were weighted down by His ex who we’ll just call “Louise”.

He said it perhaps does. Then i asked Him how long of a period she would have Him remain that way. He replied that sometimes it was overnight. i asked how He managed to sleep, then He said that He could get out of it if He untied He hands. But then Louise would get angry if He did so.

i brushed His cock with my hand and it was hard. And it wasn’t from my doing.

This prompted a few anxious thoughts…

Does Master enjoy the mere thought of CBT, or does He miss having an angry woman administer it?

Is it a thrill to be at the mercy of a vengeful woman?

Or does He miss the sexual dynamics between Him and Louise?

i had a restless night, knowing that my current emotional state may be playing into this.

Which leads to the fact that we haven’t done a lot of D/s stuff this week. Master is patient, but i can feel His frustration even though he’s trying hard not to show it. He’s wondering, “Is this what it’s going to be like from now on? Vanilla days…vanilla sex?”

The topic of Louise made His cock hard. The conversation had an obvious effect on Him.

But i’m not about “angry sex” which i realize could be a negative for those who prefer it.

My own personality is fairly consistent. i’m energetic without running hot and cold, and have worked hard to maintain balance. Diving into the depths of consistent anger or vengeance (i.e. drama) isn’t a place i want to go. Sadly, too many people live with that type of negative energy.

But it makes Master hard. Believe me, i’m under no illusions about my current physical state prompting His fantasies.

This morning, after i sucked on His cock to fully erect it, i placed 3 clothespins on the shaft (just because i know He enjoys it). Fed the cats, got Master’s shower running and came back to get Him. His cock was still hard.

He must’ve been missing that type of sensation. Otherwise, i would’ve come back to a rather limp member.

Before He left for work, He had me place 20 clothespins on my pussy. It was tough to endure for the 5 or so minutes they were on, but i did it. It pleases Him.

Back to the issue – i may need to look into role-playing a full-out, scary bitch. i could perhaps do that once i get back to a more normal state. If anyone has tips or recommended resources  on how to best do that, please let me know.

P.S.  (Master has given me full permission to use S&M on Him at any time as a way to incorporate His own inclinations in that area)