With an unexpected health issue arising, the D/s relationship has come under review. This is a time when i may not be able to fully serve Master S in the manner to which He is accustomed. But this also allows Him to step in and serve me.

Master does enjoy the occasional switch, and truly enjoys making me happy. There are moments when i catch a slight smile on His typically stoic face when He takes note of my joy.

When waiting for the biopsy results, Master told me i could remove the collar as He intended to serve me for a while. i appreciate the gesture, but feel that i could still serve Him even if it’s in a temporarily limited capacity. After further conversation, He divulged a desire to serve me – not due to a need for kink, but rather in a love-based (but still kinky) manner.

This has changed from the past, where His attraction to the sub role was based on sexual kink. He now senses that it comes from a deeper emotion – and feels we can refine the D/s aspect to reflect this.

Make no mistake about it. He’s still Master. But at times now, i may subject Him to various forms of ‘sensation”. i need not ask His permission, but if i believe it’d be an enhancement to an experience, i’m free to explore those venues.

This will be different than times with Master in the past when it was little more than assuming a role, or simply a means for Him to get an experience. The difference is that now i understand so much more.

i understand how various implements feel. How the cane hurts so much more when landing on a previous strike area. How to apply clothespins to the genital area so the pain isn’t excruciating right from the start, and thus more bearable for a longer period of time.

i fully understand the force of a spanking done for fun, and that which is done for punishment. And that a turn of events can happen in an instant.

i understand the intellectual hurdles to overcome in order to become comfortable in the D/s roles, and the courage it takes to remain true, open and honest about it.

i understand the tricks our minds play when we’re tied up and blindfolded, left at someone else’s mercy. How important it is to deliver what is promised, as well as when it’s best to consider leniency.

i understand that there’s an energy exchange when it’s done right. There’s a line that’s crossed when it stops being kinky and arousing, and starts to become a test of endurance.

Master is now allowing me freedom to serve Him in a different manner…turning the tables on Him every now and then without forgetting that He is Master. i appreciate the opportunity to enjoy these experiences which He so richly desires.

Tis a fortunate slave who can serve her Master completely.