Entries from December 2009 ↓

Sometimes we don’t like being corrected…okay, more than just “sometimes”. We chafe at the thought that another person places themselves in a position of authority. Our inner child stomps its foot and rebels against the fact that someone is calling us on our behavior.

Recently Master S found it necessary to provide “correction”. i broke what was his most set-in-stone rule…being appropriately naked at all times. i’d agreed beforehand to being “au naturale” unless other people were around, and i also knew the severity of breaking this rule. Still i erred and set in motion the most recent chain of events. (see previous posts)

At first, i was mentally stomping my foot. Pleading my case, as it wasn’t the norm for me to disregard this very important rule. Yet when the dust settled, the fact remained that i had indeed messed up. This placed Master S in a bit of a predicament. He could empathize with His pet and go on as if nothing had occurred, or He could enforce the consequences of my crossing the proverbial line in the sand.

Though He is a caring Master, i’d usurped his control. That fact couldn’t be ignored. Thus i had to serve out the consequences. No one could say that i wasn’t aware of what might happen as we’ve talked about almost every aspect of this relationship at length…even what could be expected for breaking the rules.

i’m still in training and Master S has on many occasions given warnings rather than punishment. For that, i’m very grateful. Changing one’s behavior and responses can be a difficult thing and it most definitely doesn’t happen overnight. Being mindful and aware at all times – without feeling like i’m walking on eggshells – is the goal.

Also…i hate making mistakes, which helps Master S achieve his goal in progressing me to “ideal slave” status. Some slaves delight in breaking rules as they look forward to the punishment, but that’s not me. i’d rather serve Master in a seamless, attentive manner, looking after His needs with the utmost of care.

But still, i made a mistake…and received the consequences of such. My pride was wounded more than anything else. Now i’m eager to reconnect with Master on a deeper level. We’re in this together, and i plan on doing my utmost to see that we remain that way.

Dec 6^th – Clothespin day. We wake up and have sex but my state of mind made for an unusually mild session. We eat a good breakfast, then after a while go work out. It’s good to get the endorphins going. i need all the help i can get.

After a shower, we get ready for the public appearance with the clothespins. Master instructs me to wear tight clothes which will show the outline of the clothespins and no underwear. i pick out a pair of yoga pants and a knit top. He approves and before heading out the door, i’m instructed to place a clothespin on each nipple and 4 on my pussy. They hurt, especially when i walk. But i don’t dare complain, especially after getting a warning from Master that my attitude needs to remain positive. He reminds me to readjust them every 15 minutes. This means they’re constantly painful due to the removing and replacing.

At first we stopped at a coffee shop. i was hoping we’d just get groceries but that apparently wasn’t the plan. i’m told to remove and replace while we’re there. i step inside the bathroom and do so. Tears spring to my eyes but i’m determined not to let them show.

i’m fully aware that i chose this venue and am determined to deliver on it.

We leave the coffee shop and head to the grocery store. Master drops me off at the door, realizing that it’s painful to walk. Nevertheless, it’s a very large grocery store and i grit my teeth just thinking of how much this is going to hurt.

i place my coat in the shopping cart as instructed. Walking around with clothespins under my shirt and on my pussy is humiliating. i imagine every set of eyes upon me, but my instructions were to walk proudly. i try to do so.

We go up and down the aisles, picking out items that are on our list. People’s eyes flicker to my shirt especially, but they try not to be obvious. My strides are getting shorter as we progress. The pain from my pussy is almost too much. i have to ask one of the people at the store where a certain item is, and she takes off ahead of us to the other end of the store at a fast clip. Ouch ouch ouch. Master seems to notice. As we near the end, he pulls me aside and lets me know that i’m free to remove the clothespins. He notes that He’s proud of the way i handled myself.

i go to the restroom, close the door and yank down my pants. Removing the clothespins brings a yelp, and i hope there isn’t anyone outside the door. My nipples are deformed into pucker marks where they were pinched for that period of time.

At home, we unload the groceries and carry on as usual.

As we get ready for bed, i get into position, snuggled up on His shoulder. i feel like i can breathe, and take in the scent and feel of Him. Relief washes over me as i realize that i did it. i survived this second (and final stage) of a felony punishment.

Now, as long as i follow His basic rules, i shouldn’t have to endure such treatment from here on out…unless He decides He wants some “play time” with me.

As you may recall, i broke one of Master’s cardinal rules. (see previous post)    i’ve been waiting to see if He wanted to offer His perspective but He’s been busy at work and hasn’t had the time to do so. This means you’re stuck with my version of what happened next…

The following events were a result of that severe infraction. i take full responsibility for placing Master in a position where He has to follow through on the rules.

Dec 5th:  Have been awake all night. Dreading the time when punishment occurs. Master offered me a chance to barter what my punishments were to be. Couldn’t sleep –  i couldn’t believe i’m in a situation where I even need to consider things like this.

Update: My punishment initially outlined was as as follows…

15 strikes w/hairbrush on my butt.

15 pussy whips – with my clit ring, it’s a drop-dead fetal-position type of pain.

10 outfits of mine to be donated to Goodwill.

Vibrator – the amount of minutes to be decided by a roll of the dice x 10 min. Example: If a 4 were rolled, then the vibrator would be taped onto me for 40 minutes. Of all the things, i dread this the most. There’s something about when it’s used for torture or punishment that tears at my core.

So Master offers me a way to diminish any of the punishments if i can think of something to substitute them with of equal value. So i come up with something else…

Clothespins. i’d wear them in any manner for a time specified by Him. This would take place of the vibrator.

Master agrees but not completely. i’m to experience the vibrator for 10 whole minutes. Then He explains that He’ll have me wear clothespins on nipples and pussy while we’re out on the town. My clothing is to be tight so that the clothespins can be viewed by others. When we enter a building, i am to remove my winter coat so i’m not covered by it. Humiliation.

i agree in order to reduce the time with the vibrator. He informs me that He’ll remove the clit ring which will help a great deal.

On Saturday afternoon, the punishments begin. Master tells me to remain in the greeting position, my breasts are not to leave the floor, or the count begins again from zero. As i’ve already experienced how hard he can hit with the hairbrush, i know it’ll be difficult this will be.

1 – 2 – 3… i think after this point, i start to sob. It hurts so much but as i don’t want to start again from zero, i hold the position. Master finishes, stands me up and holds me for a while. He says to let Him know when to start the pussy whippings. i want to get it over with, even though the pain from the hairbrush is still fresh.

Master ties my feet above my head and my wrists are tied flat to the bed. There’s not much give in this position and i can’t move or squirm.

Master removes the clit piercing . Though i’m appreciative of His consideration, i don’t care for Him much at this point. (i know i brought this on myself though) He begins. The first strike is to the left of my clitoris and i can handle it okay even though it’s painful. The second strike lands dead-on the clitoris. i nearly scream but manage not to. After a few more strikes, my body starts shaking. i’m not sure if i can do this.

Master continues and i’m glad that not all of them are “on target”. Still, it hurts. i want to rip off my collar and walk out the door. My head is screaming at me that i’m an idiot. But i stay.

Master unties me and forces me to hold onto him. i don’t want to, but i do as i’m told. He doesn’t want me to resent Him or hate Him for my infraction.

After what seemed to be a few short minutes, Master gets the vibrator. The deal is that it stays on for 10 minutes. After only 30 seconds it feels like forever. i’m begging him to please please please have mercy. He’s telling me in a stern voice to keep my hips down, but it’s difficult to do so as then it places the vibrator directly on my clit. My emotions are getting the best of me and tears are streaming. i’m not sure if He had it on the entire 10 minutes but after a while, He shuts it off. Unties me and holds me for a very long time until my tears stop.

i keep telling myself that i actually signed up for this,but for now i’m just too tired to care. Relief floods in that i’ve made it through most of the punishment.

As i don’t feel like going to get groceries that evening, we get a take-out pizza then go to the gym. i took some Tylenol PM to help me sleep so i don’t toss and turn, dreading tomorrow’s public appearance with the clothespins.

But i’ll leave the clothespin event for another blog post…

i messed up…big time. Got back to hotel room and the person i had a business call scheduled with was calling me early. i grabbed the call w/out taking off my clothes and shortly afterwards, Master walked in for a “nudity check”. This was the first time that i was wearing clothes when the occasion dictated me to be nude. Now it appears He’s not willing to listen to my explanation and is terming it a felony. Justifiably so.

It appears I’m in line for a punishment because of the lapse today…which was only due to not having time from walking in the door to grabbing the call.

Seems like i’ll need to be diligent in not allowing for an error such as this. i’ll submit to this punishment though am not looking forward to what He decides to hand out.

i’m sure Master S will weigh in on his thoughts on this blog as to the unfolding of this predicament. All i know is that i’ve broken one of His hard rules on my submission, albeit not in a willful manner. This is one of those times when i find this lifestyle extremely challenging.

i’m traveling with Master on the occasional week that He does business in another part of the state. So for two days, i sit and do my work in a hotel room – naked – until He gets back and then we go out to dinner with His assistant.

Currently, it’s freakin’ cold outside.  i’ve cranked up the heater so the metal piercings doesn’t get so cold that my nipples and private region gets frostbite…okay, so i exaggerate. Anyway, anticipating our trip to Mexico in 2 months, i asked Master if i could order some clothes for the occasion. His response…”What do you need clothes for?”  The resort we’re staying at is clothing-optional so unless Master decides i can wear something, the sun will hopefully provide ambient heat.

He did let me know that He will be involved in the clothing choices so we’ll be looking at those later (hopefully this evening).

Last night was a bit of an odd evening.  After a 3 hour drive, and some shopping at the mall, we’d already put in a full day and i was feeling the effects of tiredness. We began warming up for sex while the Duke basketball game was on the tv, then Master stopped and asked if i’d prefer to drink his urine or go through “sensation training”. In my mind, those two activities don’t align with sexual stimulation. i could feel myself going as dry as the Sahara a few seconds after He asked. i need to be in a different mindset in order to perform them.

Those abrupt changes in focus are difficult when i’m tired. Sometimes i think Master S is messing with my mind when He does that. What i do know is that it causes me to internally go, “This sucks…” as i attempt to corral the expectation of deep, physical connection with Master. It’s like trying to get a racehorse back in the stall after leading him to the starting gate.

So i stopped – quit the negative chatter going on in my mind – and carefully answered His questions. It’s a cat-and-mouse attempt to catch me in direct refusal.

Ex:

Master: So would you like to drink my urine?

Me: i didn’t realize Master had that in mind.  

Master: Or would you prefer to undergo sensation training?

Me: If that’s what Master prefers.

Master: No, I’m asking you which one you’d like to do.

Me: i’m not sure i can make that decision, Sir.

Master: (realizing he won’t catch me and seemingly disappointed that I’m not overjoyed with the prospects of either) Well, I need to pee.

Then He got up and went to the bathroom. i was relieved to say the least, but still not looking forward to the sensation training. The last time Master did that, He unintentionally hit the fresh clit piercing which forced me into a fetal position from the pain.

He came back, seeming a bit annoyed. We finished watching the basketball game (it was a close one, Wisconsin won) and then pretty much went to bed. No further conversation or training took place. Times like this, i feel the bdsm stuff gets in the way but i have to admit that it also has caused us to be very clear in our communications and expectations with each other.

But this morning, all was back in balance. Master took the opportunity to employ His belt on my butt for a bit of training. i know He likes it, and that’s what i need to keep in the forefront of my mind. It’s just so much easier when one has the energy required to take it on.

This morning, i woke up earlier than usual, got up and fed the cats. Something i’m sure they appreciated. Slipping back into bed and feeling Master’s warmth, I curled up to His big shoulders, my hand lightly grazing His penis…hmmm.

Slowly i trailed a fingertip along His broad chest, down His stomach and then to His firm thighs. Being able to soak Him in like this was pure indulgence. i was getting moist.

Torn between acting on impulse or allowing Him time to sleep, i recalled that at one point in time He encouraged me to act if the need arose. So my hand became more strategic in its stroking…lingering a bit longer than usual on His already-firm cock. i glanced at His face and though His eyes were closed, there was just a hint of a smile on His face.

i took that as a sign to continue.

Making sure the blankets covered us so no warmth would escape, i carefully moved on top. His eyes were still closed even though He definitely wasn’t sleeping. It wasn’t long before my slow rhythmic movements turned intense. My clit ring rubbed against His groin, further stimulating me. Master then spoke His first words of the morning….”Come, slave.”  It was all i needed to hear, and was glad to oblige.

Master knows that one good orgasm deserves another, so He ordered me to have several more. He didn’t come, and i’m not allowed to ask Him to do so. After finishing up, i licked him clean of my juices, then set off to start His shower. Lathering Him up and taking care of His body has become one of my daily pleasures.

After the showering and shaving were done, i pleasured Him by taking His cock in my mouth while He brushed his teeth. This morning, He had me on my knees a bit longer than usual. After a while, He came in my mouth…His cum went down easy as i knew that i took liberties with His body earlier.

i dressed Him, got His breakfast ready and soon He was out the door. Before He left though, He said “I love you”. My heart always does a little leap when He’s the first one to utter those words. Even now, i smile just thinking about it.

Sure, i took liberties with Master this morning, but i know that every once in a while He likes it when i take initiative in these matters.

Okay, putting the topic of sex aside for right now…(don’t worry, there’ll be plenty more of that later!)  Here’s just a snapshot of my afternoon.

Part of my slave duties includes making sure Master is presented in an impeccable manner. i wash his body in the mornings, shave Him, apply His deodorant and ensure that even his neckline is trimmed and never shaggy. Those are just a few things.

Another section of my responsibilities lies in His wardrobe, so today i’m ironing a week’s worth of shirts for Him to wear to the office. When i first began doing this, i’d iron a single shirt at a time but have managed to come up with a system to make it easier on me as well as allow for more flexibility as the occasion necessitates.

When hanging shirts up after they’ve been washed, i like to make sure they’re all facing the same direction. Then i button only the second button from the top and place them on the hanger that way. This is an easy way to identify which ones are  

Then i choose five shirts from his selection – making sure there’s a variety of colors – then bring them to the ironing area. When i pull shirts from the walk-in closet, i can quickly differentiate which ones haven’t been ironed due to my own little cataloging system. i place the ironed shirts on the left side of that particular section of the closet.

After i’ve ironed the five shirts, the top two buttons get buttoned in order to keep the neckline straight and prevent that little “floppy fold” that happens. Y’all know what i mean by that!  

In this manner, i can quickly identify which shirts have been ironed, and which ones are next in rotation. It’s not rocket science, but just one of those simple time-saving techniques I’ve developed. So if anyone else out there has domestic duties, this just might help!