life’s too short to post hateful comments

One very dear woman in our bdsm community was verbally made to feel like she was “sick” due to her online posting of a vivid “discipline” dream.  In my email interactions with her, I felt her warmth in the words that she writes.

As far as her background, she and her husband are now bravely reframing their lives together, incorporating bdsm practices. i applaud them both. But to have her post bashed – even though her site posts a content warning  - is pretty nervy.  <rolling eyes>,

Let’s think this through…

Someone is surfing the internet. They come across her site (most likely looking for bdsm material) and even click the “I agree” button on the warning page. They read her lengthy post, then leave a comment which suggests that she’s depraved.

i’m going to resist the urge to call that person a coward or small-minded. By doing so, i’d be jumping right into the same pool of finger-pointing. What it really shows is that there are many fearful people out there who don’t accept others unless they conform to their narrow standards.

Master and i came together as a normal couple. He was very upfront with His tastes and proclivities but didn’t try to push them on me. We enjoyed each other’s company and fell in love as individuals. At the time, He was struggling to figure out where His fantasies were leading Him. i loved him and wanted to walk with Him on this journey, not knowing how we’d end up. Above all else, i admired his honesty and openness.  If i’d opted to take a standard view, i would’ve missed out on this truly beautiful man.

Not everyone can do so…

There’s a common theory that states “Whatever is repressed, gets expressed”.  Basically, when someone presents themselves to the world as “better than” (think homophobics, racists or conservative religious), they want others to place them on a pedestal. Ah, but these flimsy pedestals are easily toppled as evidenced by people such as Jimmy Swaggart, and most recently, Tiger Woods.

As my entry into the world of bdsm is quite recent, i have to say that so far, i’ve found very real, caring and authentic people at the core. They’ve mostly come to terms with who they are. They’re extremely accepting of other people’s kinks as well.

Whoever left that nasty comment should really take a look at themselves and figure out exactly what they’re afraid of. After all, each and every one of us possesses qualities that aren’t easy to look at. But once we do – and open ourselves up to the light of non-judgment  and caring – then we no longer need to fear that which is unfamiliar.

There’s no need to leave hurtful, anonymous posts. Life’s too short for that.