A few days ago, Mick from Under Contract (see Favorite Blogs) recently asked if i receive an amount of pride for enduring Master S’s corrections, piercings and other events. It was an insightful question and one i’ve been pondering since that time.

Here’s what i’ve come up with…

Though i don’t enjoy the pain sensations as some subs/slaves seem to, i’ve learned from them.  Now i’m better able to view the experience as temporary and not carry as much angst about the event. Sometimes the simple truth is, whipping my pussy arouses Master S. i like the fact that i’m able to provide that for Him.

Endurance is an exercise in “letting go”. Letting go of the fact that it’s my beloved Master inflicting the pain. Letting go of the social norms that categorize this type of relationship as “bad”. Letting go of the illusion that says this energy exchange isn’t done with love.

Master S is allowing Himself to be very authentic with me. That’s a rich reward for any sub/slave.  i’m also discovering that previous definitions of “a great relationship”  have been replaced with a deeper understanding. More earthy, but also more real and connecting due to the depth of communication that takes place.

An unexpected side benefit of these sessions is that they’ve even helped me in my workouts with James, our sadistic personal trainer. My limits are being tested and i’m getting stronger both physically and mentally. Without a doubt, i know that the pain is only temporary. My mind can better overcome what’s happening “in the moment” and recognize that the benefit lies on the other side…whether it’s 15 seconds or 15 minutes away.

So yes, there is an amount of pride in attempting to serve Master S the way he wants to be served. i’m not always successful, but He knows i’m trying. And i’m doing it with love.

There’s a yogic saying which sums it up, “If the body is not governed by the mind, and the mind is not governed by the soul, no healing can ever manifest. Love is the essence of healing.”

If one can’t hand themselves over without lingering negativity, then one simply shouldn’t hand themselves over.