how to spot a “good” Dom

Ever read the book “Good To Great” by Jim Collins? It’s a business book outlining the type of leadership which makes some companies great while others are…well…not so great. While reading, i was struck by how the same principles could also be applied for a successful D/s relationship.

Here’s what i mean:

The book lists qualities of Level 5 leaders (the very best, and most successful). We can take a look at these same attributes and apply them to the people who make the very best Doms, as they are our Leaders. This gives us a means to objectively view who’s “Dominant” and who is merely “domineering”. i’ve had my share of “domineering” and now know enough to steer clear of those types!

To briefly summarize, the Level 5 Leaders were all cut from the same cloth. The absence of this type of leadership was apparent in the companies who struggled and ultimately failed. Thus we can compare it to what makes a long-lasting D/s relationship.

Some of the common qualities of a Level 5 Leader:

1. They have both a modesty yet also a willfulness of purpose.  

In contrast, the individuals who attempt to lead by sheer charisma or force end up with a shorter career and typically drive their relationships/businesses to the ground.

2. Concern for the business’s (or relationship’s) success first and foremost, rather than exertion of personal power or fame.

If a Dom isn’t ultimately caring for the sub – choosing instead to value their own gratification at the expense of the sub – then the relationship has little chance for survival.

3. Unwavering resolve to do what must be done.

These Level 5 leaders will do what it takes to make the company great. This will also apply to a D/s relationship. There’s a ferocity to do what it takes to make it work.

4. When things go badly, they don’t look to others to blame. As leaders, they apportion responsibility in a fair manner.

A successful Dom would never think of blaming his sub for something he failed to communicate or carry out.

5. Sets a high standard – and will settle for nothing else.

Expects results from himself as well as others.

Not to mention that Level 5 Leaders also are self-reflective, have undergone conscious personal development, as well as a number of life factors that have helped them develop depth.

As subs, if we can look to our D’s and recognize these traits, then we can rest assured that we’re in very capable hands.

i’m grateful to Master S. He exhibits these qualities in both His professional and personal life. It’s an honor to serve Him. Granted, i do try His patience at times but He’s been fair and generous in my training. For that, i attempt to make His life easier and more fulfilling.