slavery vs providing pleasure

i’m guessing my struggle is not uncommon for those beginning this journey. It’s a matter of reframing ego-driven thoughts into those of pleasure to be of service.

This morning, Master S informed me i’d be His personal attendant which includes…

-          Washing His body while he’s showering

-          Shampooing His hair

-          Toweling Him off when He’s done

-          Applying His deodorant forHim

-          Grooming His Hair

-          Shaving him (which is rather fun!)

-          Standing near the toilet paper - handing Him the required amount

-          Choosing His clothes for the day – pressing if necessary

-          Dressing Him

Admittedly, i was tired and not expecting this turn of events. To my credit, i didn’t protest but quietly did the tasks as requested. Master is patient and very good at giving direction. At first, i viewed this solely as a means to subjugate me to His will. Then He made the comment that He derives pleasure from it and thinks of it as a way for Him to have fun with this situation.

It was a bit of an aha moment to see it from His perspective. my own sense of being devalued was of my own doing – i have to keep in mind that we’re best friends and lovers even when i feel “lesser than”. Will try not to let the term “slave” represent total degradation.

My goal will be to try to remain focused on the pleasure He receives from my service and learn to view that as having tremendous value.