A special thank-you to namaste at http://servicesavoirfaire.blogspot.com for her suggestion on creating this weekly list:

outside my window…dreary rain. The green hues of summer are turning into a monochromatic tan palette.

my thoughts…turn to how to best step outside myself in order to serve Master S. It’s a goal but difficult at times due to the newness of this situation.

i am thankful for…the opportunity presented and the challenges it contains. It’s freeing yet requires tremendous self-discipline.

For my service training…i am  doing quite a bit of online research. Several books are on my wish-list if Master wants me to read them.

i am wearing…nothing as Master requests. Have to keep the heat turned up a bit higher than usual but Master said he’d gladly pay the extra heating bill.  <big smile>

i am listening to…a tropical waves cd. It helps to create a sense of peaceful relaxation when my mind needs to slow down.

I manifest and co-create…a life which serves others. My business coaching is coming into fuller form. Much thanks to Master S for his valuable input on various topics. A healthy and abundant life for those i love. A well-ordered home for Master.

One of my favorite things…getting a massage. Not one of those frilly ones, but the kind that makes me wince but feels sooooo good afterwards.

further plans for this week…self-discipline of my thought processes. Watching what the ego-voices are saying in their indignation over my duties. My goal is to not only learn to recognize them but ultimately view them with fond amusement.

i’m guessing my struggle is not uncommon for those beginning this journey. It’s a matter of reframing ego-driven thoughts into those of pleasure to be of service.

This morning, Master S informed me i’d be His personal attendant which includes…

-          Washing His body while he’s showering

-          Shampooing His hair

-          Toweling Him off when He’s done

-          Applying His deodorant forHim

-          Grooming His Hair

-          Shaving him (which is rather fun!)

-          Standing near the toilet paper - handing Him the required amount

-          Choosing His clothes for the day – pressing if necessary

-          Dressing Him

Admittedly, i was tired and not expecting this turn of events. To my credit, i didn’t protest but quietly did the tasks as requested. Master is patient and very good at giving direction. At first, i viewed this solely as a means to subjugate me to His will. Then He made the comment that He derives pleasure from it and thinks of it as a way for Him to have fun with this situation.

It was a bit of an aha moment to see it from His perspective. my own sense of being devalued was of my own doing – i have to keep in mind that we’re best friends and lovers even when i feel “lesser than”. Will try not to let the term “slave” represent total degradation.

My goal will be to try to remain focused on the pleasure He receives from my service and learn to view that as having tremendous value.